77 Reasons: Afterword

Congratulations.

If you made it to the end of this book without giving up on your writing career, then you are an author with passion and determination. That’s a very good thing. If your writing skill and thinking ability match that passion and determination, well, you just might make a mark in this dirty little business of ours.

Before we part ways, there are just a few last things I want to say to you.

First, thank you for reading this book.

You are a special person, and I appreciate that you shared your time with me. You rock.

Second, I know I’m a big, arrogant jerk and that reading this book can be both depressing and overwhelming to aspiring writers.

I’m sorry for the “big jerk” part of that equation—but not for the rest. You see, if I can talk you out of pursuing a writing career, then you don’t belong in publishing, so it’s good that you quit now. If this book prompts you to do that, then it’s good for both of us.

Of course, if you truly have the soul of a writer, then nothing I said in this book is going to discourage you from pursuing that career anyway. So, if that’s case, you’ll be stronger—and more successful—for having learned what’s in here. Welcome to publishing. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.

Third, I can’t help you get published. Sorry.

I know, now that we are friends, some of you out there will immediately see me as the agent who will help you get published, and you’ll send me your newest masterpiece before turning the last page of this book. But my agency is full—I simply can’t add new writers without adding more time to the day. And since I haven’t yet figured out how to manipulate the time-space continuum, let me just go ahead and reject your proposal ahead of time and save us both the awkwardness of that future situation.

Are there any exceptions to my current “no new author clients” rule? Well, I guess so. If you are someone I already know, or someone who comes to me with a strong recommendation from an existing Nappaland client, then OK, I’ll take a look at your idea. Otherwise, I’m sorry to say the answer is no. (And if you think this doesn’t apply to you, then please re-read Reasons 13, 14, and 23.)

Fourth, despite the previous two paragraphs, I really do hope you succeed in publishing.

And I hope that 77 Reasons Why Your Last Book Was Rejected helps you to do so. After all, that’s why I wrote it—to give you an insider’s perspective on the way your various book proposals are received after you send them out into the world. And to share a few ideas for how you can overcome the basic mistakes that 99% of writers make when pitching a book.

So I hope this book helps you, I really do.