L.O.V.E.Putting Your Love Styles to Work for You
by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott (Zondervan)
Genre: Love & Marriage
Here’s a question for you: Is your spouse an Evaluator or an Optimist? A
Leader perhaps, or maybe a Validator?
According to psychologists Les and Leslie Parrott, discovering which of
these “love styles” are at work in your marriage will not only help you
get along better—it’ll help you create a combined “love style that will
forever stand guard over your marriage.” And if you’ve ever read
any of the Parrott’s previous works, you know that they always deliver
what they promise.
L.O.V.E.,
then, is the Parrott’s latest contribution to your marriage. And, as
expected, they’ve created a lively book that is both theoretically
expansive and practically helpful. This book is easy to read, easy to
follow, and packed with ideas and insights that can be applied right away
in any marriage (or pre-marriage) relationship.
The one drawback to L.O.V.E. is
the excess marketing right up front. Two full pages of the prologue make
it clear that the publisher believes this book alone isn’t enough—pointing
you with generous enthusiasm toward all the supplementary products based
on themes of this book. Let’s see, there’s an online assessment,
his-and-her workbooks, a DVD kit for small groups, online video tips and
advice (visit our website now!), and who knows what else. While I’m sure
all these additional products are indeed helpful, packing in the pitch
right at the beginning of the book seemed more like a cynical hard-sell
than a sincere offer of more help—and IMHBAO* that seemed out of character
for Les and Leslie Parrott.
Still, once you get past the hard-sell at the beginning, this book carries
a wealth of information and hands-on exercises to help you discover and
personalize the message of love styles for your marriage.
Part One offers an overview of the concept of “love styles,” along with a
brief explanation of the things that shape our expectations and
expressions of love. (Hint: It has to do with your DNA and the way your
personality grew out of that.)
Part Two gets more to the heart of the matter, with in-depth explorations
of each of the four love styles identified by the Parrotts.
There’s the Leader—the spouse most likely to be goal-oriented,
hardworking, and just a bit too stubborn. Next is the Optimist—the spouse
who is likely to be fun-loving, sociable, and perhaps a little
scatterbrained. There’s also the Validator—the one in your marriage who
nurturing, thoughtful, and sometimes a little withdrawn. And last but not
least, there’s the Evaluator—the person who is purposeful, conscientious,
and also a little too critical at times.
Part Three of L.O.V.E. delivers
the practical, everyday advice we’ve come to expect and admire from Les
and Leslie Parrott. It’s in these “If You’re Married To A…”
chapters that you can learn what
to do and how to adjust so that you and your spouse can joyfully combine
your separate love styles into one overarching love relationship that
celebrates who you both are.
In all, L.O.V.E. is everything
its hyped up to be—and maybe a little bit more. Do yourself (and your
spouse) a favor and get this book, enjoy with each other, and let it lead
you toward a combined love style that does indeed forever stand guard over
your marriage.
FAMILYFANS RATING: A-
--MN
*In My
Humble But Accurate Opinion Note: All book or comics-related graphics in this column are standard publicity/promotional shots and are owned by their respective publisher. ---
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